The steadiness we seek

steadiness we seek

I am not thrilled with all of the change right now. Sassafras and Sonic aren’t either.

A friend who put her house on the market sold her house within two weeks (TWO WEEKS!). She will not know the insanity of trying to keep up the madness of selling a house for over eight months.

Sassafras has started Middle School and both big kids have started a co-op for the first time this year.

I am trying to balance all the things and find how God would use me at church. Terrified that He might make my small things big, I’m scared that life will change.

I don’t even know where I am going to live when the house sells. This season might excite others, but for me IT’S AWFUL.

I don’t want to give up my house. Never dreaming of a larger house or another side of town, I am fearful of change.

So I sit here typing words on a screen praying no one ever sees them. Not because I am ashamed or think they are worthless, but because they may lead me out into the unknown, a place where change abides.

Then I read Malachi 3. It starts with refinement. What is purification without change? You cannot heat a substance to almost it’s ruin point, remove its impurities, and have no change at all.

The first five verses of this chapter are so rich I could camp out for days in all that I could learn from the purification and judgment of the Lord, but it is verse 6 after that pops out to me.

“For I the Lord do not change; therefore you, O children of Jacob, are not consumed.”

God has given each one of us a craving for consistency. Once again we look for it in the wrong place.

We try to find it in ourselves, the least reliable creatures on the planet.

Then we aim for holding tight to circumstances. Maybe they will give us the steadfast place in our hearts.

We sit there with the answer staring us right it the face. Of course, we seek steadiness… we seek HIM!

God didn’t scramble to figure out how to meet the needs of our hearts.

He didn’t say. “Hmmm… Christina doesn’t like change. I wonder how I should respond to that?”

In creation, God created land and sea before there were land and sea animals, and food and air before there were mouths and lungs. He was also unchanging before our hearts would ever cry out for a fixed point.

He did not say, “My people are hungry. I will find food.” Instead, He answered from His character, “I am satisfaction. Here is some hunger.”

He has hardwired us to seek Him and want Him.

I pray we that life will not consume us as we seek rest in our unchanging God.

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6 Comments

  1. Oh, Christina. This is tender and so good. I absolutely love that last part – he didn’t give us Himself in fulfillment of a need, He created a need in us that only He could fill. What a profound truth. Thank you for sharing those words you hope no one will see. They ministered to this heart today.

  2. I needed this as we are struggling with whether to put our home back on the market and I HATE change, but yet crave it. Only God would really understand that. And so I SAY (we say) that I give it all to HIM, but then somehow I take it back again! Trust is hard!! I want to trust my husband, but he doesn’t know what he wants either! Please remember us in prayer through wherever God leads us and I will do the same for you!

  3. I resonate with your words and with their timing. Because I am O L D and I have a rotten, terrible, horrible back (ok, did I say that enough times?) and it hurt like the dickens yesterday, I let my mind run into all sorts of places of despair — “I can’t believe that I can’t do ANYthing any more without getting hurt…” — “What will REAL old age look like, because I don’t think I’m really all that old, and I hurt this bad?” — “I don’t want HunKaBurninLove hubby to have to do every little tiny thing for me when I become disabled in the next 3 years or so…” — you get my drift. Change. Home sales do it. Aging does it. Children growing up does it. It’s a fact of life, yet we abhor it. Last night God settled me into reading the book a dear friend shared, which centers on scriptures of strength. Ps 46 reminded me that “God is my refuge and strength; a very present help in trouble…” That He is a “,…river, whose streams make [Jerusalem] glad…” — the Holy Spirit is that River, and His refreshment never ever runs dry. I took my spanking with (almost)-happy heartedness, thanking Him for reminding me that “As thy days, so shall thy strength be…” — and that His mighty hand is sufficient for every day, as it comes, and that my fretting and worrying and wondering and complaining (yes, I was whining!)are such wastes of my energy and focus. All the while, He’s standing there waiting to encourage, to refresh, to hold, and to walk beside me THROUGH each day of change and challenge. And if the days are hard, the strength provided will be just enough! I know you believe this, too, and I appreciate knowing that we can share the musings/complaints/joys/sorrows/questions of our hearts with one another. I love you!

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