Ladies, life is work right now.
The day is work. The night is work (ask anyone who has to be ready for a baby cry at any hour).
The boring is work. The fun is work (a week’s vacation for 4 and an infant is planned, packed, and organized by whom?).
The school year is work. The summer break is work.
There is work inside the house. There is work outside the house.
Even church is work right now (A season I may share about at a later date).
I don’t have time for anything, and my soul is crying out for connection with the Lord. There are some soul wrestling matters that seem to never really be completed these days.
Passion is a fantasy. I’m too tired. But craving… Craving is alive and well and at every turn of the grocery store aisle, and in every diaper change.
I know you opened my page to find the answer.
You think… Christina looks like she knows how to be a good Christian.
So I’ll get straight to the steps:
First, you must… Follow Jesus
Then you need to… Follow Jesus
After that continue to… Follow Jesus
Next, you cannot forget to… Follow Jesus
And finally, (you guessed it)… Follow Jesus
I am so tired of comparing robes.
It’s on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and other social media sites/apps that I am too old to be cool for.
It’s in our family, it’s at our jobs, it’s in our recreation, and God forgive us, in our churches.
I was not capable. I was broken. I was hurting. I was shaken. I was sick. I was hormonal. I was crazy. I was weak.
Those are not the words any woman wants to say about the birth of her daughter, but for me it was all true. Honestly, there is very little that went “right” for me during that time. It was almost as if every time I thought AT LEAST I DON’T HAVE _____, that “the blank” would crash over my head and knock me back down again. (Reliving it now is not even fun.) I had nothing left to give.
That sparked a search for God to give me a way to tell her birth story with more hope than horror, and the Spirit led me to 2 Corinthians 12:9. It says, “…But my grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”
I’m stealing one of my Daddy’s favorite sayings for this post. He always says he’s going to write book with this title, and when he does I guess I’ll have to pay him copyright royalties or come back and change this title. 😉
But anyway, God has changed my path since my last post, and that’s the reason for the radio silence over the past year or so.
My last rambling had Team Khanagov moving headlong into the adoption arena. I started taking a step back from writing to you in order to focus on those kids. We had several visits with a brother and sister. We met them at a park for the first time one afternoon, we had them over for dinner, and then we even had them spend the night. Each step was bringing us closer to what we knew God was leading us to do.
And then God said… no.