Self-righteousness vs. Self-abhorrence

Self-righteousness vs self-abhorrence

I am struggling with who I want to be when I grow up.

I know it’s probably a self-righteous thing. It usually is. I just want to get it “right.”

I hate that it often comes back to that for me. I hate that fear of failure holds me back. I hate that self-righteousness always lacks a faith that is required to please God.

I want desperately to serve Jesus, but many times I would rather follow correctly than actually follow.

GOD FORGIVE ME.

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Being in the back of the line was better

Being at the back of the line was better-fearing leadership

Tiny feet met each other on each step. A shaky hard grip on the rail. She wasn’t like the other kids. Stairs weren’t hard for them.

She knew she didn’t do it right. She heard the words around her.

Words fell from the discouraging crowd– Come on! Move Faster! What’s wrong?

Words whispered from those trying to help– You’re OK. Don’t be scared. Leave her alone.

She wasn’t scared. She was broken. Unable to work any harder, She was imprisoned.

Something in her body did not allow it to do what her brain told it. With all of her effort, it did not get better. The pressure to get it right and not hold up everyone behind her was it’s own handicap.

And when she heard the instruction, she waited for the back of the line.

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Shattered

I once watched my friend have an accident. She wasn’t hurt and neither was anyone else, but I have never seen glass shatter or metal twist quite like it did that night.

It was such a tiny motion, the smallest of mistakes, but the result was quite astounding.

She wasn’t going fast. She wasn’t even in a car. It was one of the craziest accidents I have ever seen.

NO ONE saw it coming, but all of a sudden everything fell apart and was twisted beyond what seem like any repair.

I consoled my friend that night and tried to make her feel better hoping I was able to help a little.

But here is what struck me. As I stood looking around at all the damage. I saw pieces of us lying there.

There was her hurt, anger and frustration lying there in pieces, on the floor for all to see.

There was hanging pieces of twisted embarrassment, with no simple fix.

There were pieces of me. The pieces of me that still miss my Mama.

Sharp pieces of me that hurt when I try to deal with them, because I don’t feel like I can do everything on my plate.

Twisted pieces that stick out and if I’m not careful can hurt others as well.

In less than 24 hours, there was no shred of evidence that the accident even happened, because someone who is a master at the craft made everything new.

There are broken pieces of our lives lying all around us mixed in with the pieces of others.

It’s funny how we see our own, rarely the pieces of others, and how often we forget about the wonderful master we have that can make all things new.

Don’t sit with your shattered, twisted world and focus on all that is not right.

Please take it to the Master and let Him fix all your broken places.

The results will be amazing.

While you will never forget picking up the pieces, others will soon see a brand new frame and an exquisite new pane of glass.

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Plus God’s people may take you out for ice cream! 😉

We all have our broken pieces, but God is a master craftsman.

Let Him do the work in your mess.

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What if shining isn’t really my thing?

God uses people all the time in the most unique ways.

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God has given me some really great people.

One of them is an amazing woman who flies under the radar. Sometimes it’s because she needs to believe more about what God says about her than she believes about herself and other times it’s because she doesn’t want the attention.

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