She is two and has never had the capacity to be still. Even when she wants to snuggle she is moving. Maybe she is rolling over the top of me or rubbing her hand up and down the inside of my arm (sometimes she pinches me there, and HEAVEN HELP ME).
The place where it also very noticeable is when I am trying to put her coat on her. I almost always start by saying something like, “Let’s put your coat on.”
She is very independent and it will not be long before she will no longer need my help. But for right now, I just want her to BE STILL.
It is only when she stills her will and her “help,” that I am able to get the coat on her tiny frame.
I don’t want her to stop getting ready. I don’t want her to go limp and go back to the days it was like trying to dress spaghetti. I just want her to trust me. I want her to rest in my hands.
I don’t her to stop. I want her to be.
She very often makes some little surprised “huh” sigh as her arm finally gets into their respective holes, and when the zipper finally comes to the close at the top. I’m not sure why she forgets. It happens over and over every week in winter time, and it’s like she finally sees what I can do. She finally knows. Mama is trying to get her coat on.
Sometimes I have read the verse “be still and know that I am God” as a command to stop, or even a command to go limp spiritually. But I honestly have started reading it more like my scenarios with Snickle.
It’s usually pretty obvious when God is trying to do something in me. More often than not the event begins with Him announcing or promising what He is about to do.
I am very independent, and He just wants me to be still.
God doesn’t want me to stop obeying or lose control of the position He is holding me in. He wants me to trust Him. He wants me to rest in His most capable hands.
He doesn’t want me to stop. He wants me to be.
And so many times when God comes through for me, I give a little surprised internal sigh that He actually accomplished what He promised he would do. I’m not sure why I forget how often His faithfulness comes through. But in that moment I look around and I see all that God can do. I finally KNOW that He can do and has done the work for me.
What would it look like, if every time God announced something He wanted to do in, for, or through me, I was just still? What if I didn’t “help,” but just was being the thing He wanted? How quickly could we get to the part where I was able to KNOW He was God?
I pray that each day I would be closer to being still and just letting God work. I pray that I won’t think of it as quitting, but as being.